I'm a Monkey (in Japan)

After two weeks in Japan I've found my place in the social order: I am a monkey.

1. At work I'm hidden away in a small room, until I'm brought out to talk to people. Since the Japanese can't hear natural intonation when I speak to them, everything thing I say is very exaggerated and high pitched. They think I sound hilarious, and don't realize that I have to talk like that in order to get them to sound natural when they repeat me - otherwise they speak in a monotone.
2. Occasionally, when students don't understand what I'm saying, I have to jump around and act things out. There is a lot of limb flailing in general.
3. Sometimes I even wave around a book. I can see the delight in their faces when I do it. "Look! It has a book!"
4. I cannot eat with chopsticks, and I frequently eat at a rice bowl kind of place where everyone sits at a long, winding bar facing each other. The end result is I am prominently on display, trying to eat with two sticks, frequently dropping my food. Human's have long been fascinated with the apes ability to use simple tools.
5. Today I visited a tea house in Ginza. It was a small room where everyone sat on a bench against the wall, with marble table tops dividing the bench into sections. The waitress felt she had to tell me not to sit on the table. The tea house was great though; I got two cups of tea, a shot of sake and a piece of cake. Unfortunately the cake was served with one stick to use as a utensil. I used it to slice the cake as elegantly as I could and ate the small pieces with my fingers. The fact that I don't know how it's even possible to eat cake with one stick show's how uncivilized I am. Still, I can see that people find me charming.
6. Looking at me from behind I could pass for Japanese, which is why people who walk past often do a double take. People also like to look at me when I'm on the metro, though they look away when I notice. What would you do if you saw a monkey wandering around the subway?
7. Children on the street stop, point, smile, and wave at me. Luckily I don't get sprayed with water when they get too close.